Wednesday, October 26

Teeth Movie Review

 This movie came out in 2007, even though not a straight out horror movie, it is still a movie that has plenty of gore. Dawn (the brilliant Jess Weixler) starts out as a teen speaker for abstinence and has a purity ring. She lives with her mom and step dad and evil step brother. Brad (Nip/Tuck's John Hensley) starts out like a bad person, someone who resents his step-mother, who actually wanted his father to cut him some slack. Of course things go wrong, Dawn was born with teeth in her Vagina and never knew. She later finds out about the myth of Vagina Detana. As soon as she meets Toby, its love t first sight, they want to act on their urges but try to suppress it but eventually get to the point where they are about to have sex in a cave. Dawn has second thoughts and he aggressively pushes her on a rock, knocking her semi-unconscious. When he proceeds to rape her, her teeth come out and bite off his penis. She leaves and when she returns tot he scene, she finds out that his jeep is still there, his bit-off penis has a crab on it and he died, probably because of blood loss and shock.

Dawn gets plenty of bulling and harassing from kids at school, which I think is a bum-wrap. I wish there was one movie that had teenagers with purity rings and Chasity and didn't end up loosing it before marriage and breaking their pledge. I am as liberal as you can get but it is totally true that Hollywood and indie movies don't show the positive side of teenage virginity. I didn't do it on purpose but I remained a virgin through high school and it wasn't bad. Anyway, Dawn's mom gets really sick and her brother Brad doesn't seem to do a thing about it. Dawn takes her to the hospital. Her dad sends her home but home sucks with brad and his girlfriend fighting. Dawn freaks out and goes to this other boy Ryan, a loser who wanted to be with her. She tells him about the teeth, he doesn't believe her but seduces her with pills and ends up having sex with her, sans teeth. She is so happy that the next day she has sex with him again and finds out mid-coitus, the asshole has the audacity to admit he had a bet he could bang her on the phone with a friend. 

So she learns to use her 'adaption' for revenge and cuts his off, but he doesn't die, he goes to the hospital to have it re-attached. My favorite line in the movie: "Some Hero." Dawn then goes to the hospital to see her mom and finds out she died. Dawn's step-dad Bill goes home and kicks Brad out, Brad sicks his dog Mother on him. Bill and Brad's girlfriend are found by Dawn at the hospital and she finds out Brad knew her mom was in danger and didn't do anything and also what Brad did to Bill so she goes back home determined. She seduces him, since before he flirted with her and said he always loved her, in a lustful way. He knew she bit him but then realizes that it wasn't with her mouth teeth. When he is inside of her, he figures it out but it is too late, his penis is gone. Dawn gets off the bed and drops it on the floor and his dog eats it. She leaves him crying in pain. Dawn hitchhikes and ends up with an evil old man asking for sex. She just smiles.

Great movie, a great study and great performance by Jess. But it is not a movie for those teenagers with purity rings, it might freak out teenage girls that no nothing about sex. It is more for people who have had sex and know more about the world. A vagina is nothing to be afraid of, even though that might be the movie's intent, it might get misconstrued by younger audiences. As for the gore: we see cut off penises, we see blood, and we see men with bloody stumps. As for nudity: We see her breasts, we see Toby's butt, some random guy butts, and three detached synthetic penises (not before) and we see no vagina, we just see one detached tooth. I like that she becomes more powerful and it is about growing up. Other reviewers say that this movie challenges gender norms and I don't see that way, I see it crossing a line in the sand between the binary because basically every man Dawn has sex with, looses their penis or in the case of her va-jay-jay doctor--his fingers. Now, does the message say that all men are bad? No, I mean, her step-dad is a nice guy and a sympathetic character. It is a fun watch and funny, maybe or maybe not on purpose. I think it is on purpose but it is not ha-ha funny, it's a dark humor.