Spanengrish Ramblings

Friday, January 1

My Star Wars Prequel Ideas: How it should have went

I am aware that plenty of fans have written their thoughts on the prequels and how they would have wanted it to happen. Most of the descriptions are long. I am just going to write a short (as I can). George Lucas' original trilogy worked so well because he had different directors. He tried getting other ones for the prequels like Steven Speilberg, Ron Howard and Robert Zemeckis but they all turned him down, thinking he should do it. Lucas needs a story editor, he works better with special effects and CGI.

The original trilogy had key facts about the past:

Obi Wan fought in the Clone Wars
Obi Wan served Leia's adopted father from Alderaan
Leia remembers her mother being sad
Uncle Owen didn't believe Anakin should've gotten involved in the war
Anakin was already a pilot before Obi Wan met him.
Obi Wan thought he could train Anakin as good as Yoda.

Things I liked about Lucas' prequels:

Obi-Wan's disappointment in Anakin
Anakin and Padme falling in love
Anakin being the cause of Padme's death even thogh he wanted to prevent it
The clones of the Clone Wars being Janko Fett, father of Boba Fett.

Episode I

I liked the name Phantom Menace and I like Darth Maul, many agree they should had kept him a little longer. I found it was pretty obvious that Sentor Palaptine was the Emperor as he was the same actor but I have no problem with it though. Other names I would had chose would be: A Jedi's Hope or Peace Disrupted

First of all, I wouldn't have Anakin be a child, more a bit older. I know that defeats the whole Jedis being trained as little kids but if they really needed Anakin as a kid, maybe in the beginning of the movie and moved on.
Pod race was fine but I would had appreciated it being in space so he was a 'real pilot.'
Instead of being an only child with no dad, I would had appreciated Anakin to have his brother Owen and know him a little better.
I didn't like that in a deleted scene for The Attack of the Clones, Padme visited her family and it was mom, dad and bunch of kids. Padme was basically had away at summer camp being Queen. So her being an orphan is fine, or at least her father was a king and died mid-way.
Anakin DID NOT build C3-PO which makes no sense.
Gungans do not exist in my version. The main conflict should be the Jedi vs the Sith, and Dath Maul.
Have Qui Gon Jinn killed by Darth Maul but get away with it and leave.

Episode II

I know he was going for the whole 30's serials with the title "Attack of the Clones" but I didn't like it. Empire Strikes Back also had that feeling but as kids we accepted it. It isn't as corny. I wanted this movie to be the romantic one but it is barely romantic. I would keep Count Dooku but remove the whole Obiwan and Anakin fighting monsters and Padme being captured. Titles I'd prefer: Secret of the Clones or Secrets Uncovered or Moonlight

Keep Anakin killing the sandpeople that killed his mom.
Maybe C3-PO is introduced here as Padme's assistant.
Build a bit on Anakin and Owen's relationship and him telling him not to join the war.
Expand more on Janko Fett and his son.
Expand the battle of Count Dooku, the Jedi and the clones
Expand on the romance between Anakin and Padme, since in this version they would be closer in age. Anakin and Padme would marry earlier on. Obi Wan would be more against it.
Build on Anakin's relationship with Senator Palptine and hint more on his diversion to evil.
Keep Anakin's arm chopped off of course. Have Darth Maul do it and have Obi-Wan kill Darth Maul.
Have clearer explanation about Jedis retaining their identities after death and only a few can be Force Ghosts.

Episode III

I would keep the title "Revenge of the Sith"

Anakin killing Mace Windu at least in a different location and not with that giant window, I always think that of the people that have to fix that glass.
Change that awkward scene where Obi Wan tells Padme that he knows the Anakin is the father.
And change some people calling Obi Wan as "young" as later on he is old only less than 30 years later in "A New Hope."
Padme would had faked her death at childbirth to keep Darth Vader away
Padme would marry Bail Prestor Organa (Jimmy Smits) and go under an assumed name and live with Leia.
Luke would still be given to Owen and Beru.
Padme would had left Organa and Leia alone one night and go to another planet and discovered by Dath Vader, at that shock that what he has become, she becomes scared. He tries to show her he hasn't changed but inadvertently she is killed or maybe killed by the Emperor when trying to find out where Luke and Leia are.
Keep C3-PO and R2D2's memory wipe.

There's more but I wanted to keep it short.

My Simpsons Sequel Idea

Fox wants a sequel but it doesn't look like one will be made soon, the Simpsons writers and producers have their reasons. But I think they real reason is they can't come up with a good enough idea to fill 90 minutes without it seeming like three long episodes. Despite what producers say, some episodes have a cinematic feel like "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"" and many others. One of the biggest complaints of the Simpsons movie is that we didn't see enough of the townspeople. My problem with it was its use of too much music over the jokes in the beginning, making them hard to hear. It reminded me too much of the scoring in The Goofy Movie and Rugrats Movie. "At Long Last Leave" reminded many fans of the movie itself as the Simpsons were kicked out of town.

I would personally like a movie that tied the characters together. I would like to see some of my favorite Simpsons writers like Bill Oakley, Josh Weinstein, John Swartzwelder (he wrote some for the first movie), and Ian Maxtone-Graham (he wrote some of the movie too). I would like some conspiracy within the town that would someone link the military (Principal Skinner, Abe Simpsons, etc.), the criminals (Snake, Fat Tony and the mob), and M. Burns (Waylon Smithers' dad was killed in a nuclear accident in a flashback in season 13). I was thinking of re-hashing the Stonecutters from season 6 and Maggie's position as the 'gem child' in "Gone Maggie Gone" from season 12.

In "Gone Maggie Gone," Nuns took Maggie on a throne, causing a light to hit her which makes a rainbow that brings peace all over Springfield. Marge took her back. But maybe the nuns can come back to get her back as some apocalypse might be happening. Apocalypses and conspiracies are not new to the Simpsons but if it has enough of the lore from the past 26 years, it could be something interesting. Maybe Selma B. is dating Snake and Snake has been hired by the Mob with a big secret. But of course this seems like a lot of elements from the 90's and not enough from current but it can derive from a combo of all. Like for example, in recent years Edna Krabpel married Ned Flanders and later died because her actress Marcia Wallace died.

Thursday, December 31

90's Hunks you never knew were gay

Granted this is not a big list.

Jack Noseworthy

You might have seen him as bully Eric in the Brady Bunch movie, the Outer Limits, Justin in Event Horizon, Randy in Idle Hands and in the Jon Von Jovi music video. He has been with Sergio Trujilio since 1990.

Jaason Simmons

Australian actor best known as Logan Fowler in Baywatch (1994-1997) got married Irish actor John O'Callaghan and adopted an Ugandan boy in 2006. He was recently in Sharknado.

Darren Hayes

Hayes was the frontman and singer of the pop duo Savage Garden, Hayes married a childhood sweetheart, makeup artist Colby Taylor, in 1994. They got divorced in 2000 and he married (via a civil partnership) his boyfriend of two years, Richard Cullen, on 19 June 2006 in London. The 1997 album Savage Garden peaked at No. 1 in Australia, No. 2 in United Kingdom and No. 3 in United States. It spawned the singles "I Want You", "To the Moon and Back", and Australian and US No. 1 "Truly Madly Deeply".

Chad Allen

He played the infamous Tommy in St. Elesewhere, Zack in My Two Dads (1989-1990) and Matthew in Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (1993-1998), he came out as gay and has since done GLBT movies. In November 2006, The Los Angeles Daily News wrote in passing that Allen's real-life boyfriend, Jeremy Glazer, was also in the film Save Me. In a September 2008 interview with Out.com, Allen stated that he was currently in a three-year relationship and had been sober for eight years.

Tuesday, December 29

#wheresrey Star Wars Force Awakens toys ignore PROTAGONIST REY

I've dealt with this in the Power Rangers fandom, that females are ignored or forgotten. In most merchandise like t-shirts, lunch boxes, book bags, etc., we only see the male rangers. In the movie Star Wars: Force Awakens, Rey is the protagonist but she is not seen on packaging nor in toy aisles for Star Wars. Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart, I went to the Star Wars section and saw no Rey figures. Some people believe the omission is because of the secrecy over the movie itself.

People on Twitter have started #wheresrey, particularly parents wondering where Rey figures are for their daughters. Especially in Star Wars: The Force Awakens Battle Action Millennium Falcon and Target 6-pack set. The pack includes Finn, Chewy, Poe, Kylo Ren, an unknown Startrooper and unknown New Order pilot.

My friend who happens to be of Jamaican origin, he claims that sales of Finn figures are low and in the heyday, figures of Lando Calrissian, the 'only black guy in the universe' was the least sold figure. I am not sure about that. Another friend of mine at work says he thinks there will be more merch soon after the secrecy. He could be right because of the snippet below of the article below.

"After news about the omission broke, Disney said that new Force Awakens merchandise will not leave out the film's main female character. Paul Southern, the senior vice president and head of licensing for Lucasfilm, said: 'In many stores and e-commerce destinations, products featuring Rey are selling as quickly as retailers can restock shelves." "Abrams said: 'Star Wars' was always a boy's thing, and a movie that dads could take their sons to. 'And although that is still very much the case, I was really hoping this could be a movie that mothers could take their daughters to as well.'

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/12/22/star-wars-merch-s-sexism-problem-wheresrey-highlights-dearth-in-female-toys.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3377010/Some-call-Star-Wars-sexist-realizing-toy-sets-don-t-include-female-character-Rey.html

Thursday, December 24

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Quick Movie Review (Spoilers)

I am not going to take long as there are so many reviews. I saw the movie today to avoid crowds but there was still a crowd, at least there was seating. I wanted to like the movie and I did. I don't like that fans have been saying it is sinking to nostalgia. What else do they expect? With a Star Wars sequel, you are going to get nostalgia. One meme had Star Wars as "to close to the original, I hate it" and another with the New Ghostbusters "too different, I hate it." Anyways, "Forge of Ages" (how my grandnephew Jaiden refers to it) starts out with the narration that everyone is on the hunt for Luke Skywalker. Poe (played my friend's brother Oscar Isaac Hernandez who is Guatemalan-Cuban from Miami, FL where I live and my family is also from Guatemala) and BB-8 get a map from an old man and the First Order (the new bad guys) lay waste. Poe is taken prisoner and saved by Finn (John Boyega), a brainwashed Storm Trooper who decides to desert.

BB-8 meets our heroine Rey (Daisy Riley). Now here comes the spoilers. They find the Millennium Falcon and run into Han and Chewy, become first friends and go to Yoda-esque Maz Kanata who makes Rey touch Luke's lightsaber, not confirming her parentage but having some connection. Apparently Luke tried making more Jedis and finding the first Jedi temple and his apprentice (who we assume is Han and Leia's son Ben--yes Ben, like Obi Wan) betrayed him. After we re-meet Leia, we are nailed over the head that whiny Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) (or how my dad calls him "Darth Vader") is their son. So Rey is a savant, she has lived in a desert but knows how to fix ships and use the Force.

My favorite Boba Fett-esque character is Captain Phasma (Gwendoline Christie), female commander of Finn and she doesn't get much to do here but supposedly will have more to do in Episode 8. So how does Abrahams do? I have been following him since "Felicity" and I liked a couple of his series, even Lost. He uses lens flares but they aren't as destracting. He does stay in long shots like Lucas. He changes from close ups to long shots, uses steady cam for fight scenes but stays still in regular scenes. CGI is used sparingly, mostly for big creatures. Greg Grunberg has been in almost all his projects and he is part of the Resistance along with his assistant and Ken Leung (from Lost). Simon Pegg of Star Trek cameos as an alien. And Oscar Issac's Ex Machina screen partner Domhall Gleeson plays sexy ginger General Hux. I am not crazy about Supreme Leader Snoke, his look and his overall "Emperor" vibe, I would've liked a smaller guy like Maz Kanata.

Anyway, as for the death, I approve, we all knew it was coming, it just didn't have the emotion and potency it needed. I think Ford did a good effort but didn't do 100 %. Also Driver seemed more like an angst-y teenager. Riley and Boyega did good efforts. I am not crazy that Boyega is British but did an African-American accent slang. Driver did a British-esque accent and Hernandez has his native a Miami-accent. Also, I like that you see females everywhere: in the Resistance, First Order, in bars and other places. Leia is not only the female in the Universe anymore. I agree some of the plot points are similar to "A New Hope" but they put them in different order, mood (death scene) and fresh takes.

Wednesday, October 28

Male Model Sexuality

People assume most male models are gay but in fact, according to their own accounts, interviews, Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Facebook and other social media most are straight. I am not one to out people but these are people who say it.

Straight: